Let the Little Children Come to Me.

But Jesus called the children to him and said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I tell you the truth, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."

Sometimes the pain of life is so overwhelming and the ache in my heart is so great that I find it difficult to figure out the opportunities for ministries that God is placing before me and the call to be focused and prayerful for those that need ministering too, but to whom I am not called to minister. This has been of particular difficulty lately because of the new and difficult ministry to which God seems to have directed my life.

I had been told for years that I should consider foster parenting and I avoided it. Although I have always wanted to be a father, I never wanted to get attached and then be broken hearted when the child returned home or was put in a permanent placement.

And then came Emma……

The only reason I said yes to Emma, and brought her into my home, is that I was told that she was un-adoptable. Emma, the five pound baby that did not know love, the baby that had no one to speak for her, the baby that did not know how to touch, and the baby that no one wanted. Emma grew and blossomed beyond all expectations, and became such an amazing blessing to the house, my parish and even to our city. Fortunately and un-fortunately, Emma has now been adopted by her new family and a huge hole has been left in my heart, but I know that I answered the call that God placed before me.

The selfish part of me wants to close the door on this ministry, to concede that the pain and hurt is to much for me to bear and that I did my share and now I can walk away, but I know that God’s plan is different and that the pain and hurt I feel is nothing compared to the pain and hurt that each one of these children has had to endure.

Every time I get a call from the state about anther possible placement, I have to think and pray and be deliberate about the abilities I have and those I wish I had. It breaks my heart to think that any of these children are in the system to begin with, and even though I want to hold each of them to me, to try and protect them, I know that I am limited in my capacity to do so.

The question now, what child will I next be called to minister to, to share the love of God with in a positive and supportive house? A house that is hopefully full of fun and laughter, support and consistency, structured but yet spontaneous enough to make life worth living?